I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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