So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
