they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
