You work out of a Hotel?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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