Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
nutella sex= disaster
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
