U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
third nipple confirmed
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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