are you still at the devil's house?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
