my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
