Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
