if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
