Dual....:-)
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
