i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
