Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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