One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
