she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
