Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
