Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
