i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
