So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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