i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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