Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
