Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
