I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
