people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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