I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
