Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
