Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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