Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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