I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
