i need an iv and a liver transplant
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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