THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
