dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
