no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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