Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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