you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
