just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Pants are for mortals
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
