Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize