We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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