I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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