awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
