I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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