normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
