I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
