I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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