Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize