Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
