Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
