I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
