yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
