Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
