talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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