is wine microwaveable?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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