when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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