It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
