Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is wine microwaveable?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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