i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
