So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm at about main and main street
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
