It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
