Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
