tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
