yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
