Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Randomize
