So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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