Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
